If you’re going through a divorce or a breakup, or the divorce has already occurred, and you’re wondering how you can maintain your great relationship with your child or children, well, I’m here today to talk to you about some different tips that will help you do just that.
The first tip is pretty basic and sometimes court-ordered and that is take a parenting class. Just go do it. They’re online. They’re easy to do, and it will show not only the court but it will show your spouse or soon to be ex-spouse that you want to work collaboratively in raising your children. This is a good thing to do, and you may learn something, even if you’re a parenting expert, even if you were raised in a gigantic Irish-Catholic family Pre-Vatican II and you have 15 siblings, you’re still not necessarily an expert, and you still may learn something. So, just take a parenting class and have an open mind.
The second tip is to stay involved with your child or children. What that means is go to the dentist appointments, go to the parent-teacher conferences, and definitely attend the sporting events. If there’s some sort of event that needs planning, be sure to get involved in the planning, and go home for dinner. Don’t just come home when everybody’s gone to bed. Make sure that you are staying actively involved with the kids. And if you’re not involved, get involved. They’re you kids. Also, you’re not just doing this for show for the court, you’re doing this because you want to make sure the kids understand that you’re all a family still and you’ll be living separately, but you’re still a family and the kids need that reassurance. So stay involved with the kids, and if you’re not involved, get involved.
The third tip is not to discuss any disagreements with your soon-to-be ex-spouse on social media. You may think you’re posting privately, but you’re not and you shouldn’t go in if you’ve already behaved like an angry 13-year-old on social media, don’t go in and delete everything. That’s also against the rules. What you need to remember is that anything you post about your divorce is going to be subject to review of the court if someone finds it, so assume that everybody’s looking and behave. You don’t need to show everybody that you’re incredibly immature. So, even if you are incredibly immature, keep it off social media and that’s my third tip.
The fourth tip dovetails nicely with the third tip. You should keep all communication with your spouse or soon-to-be ex-spouse super respectful, brief, and child-focused. So if you’ve been done wrong, and it’s a terrible country song, well guess what? Even with 17 affairs on the other side, you need to show everybody you’re the adult in the room, but you really need to show the kids that. So keep those communications child-focused, keep them respectful, keep them brief, and if you have a whole bunch of pent up resentment against your spouse or ex-spouse, get into therapy. There’s a solution, but the solution is not to put it in an email to your spouse or ex-spouse.
Finally, don’t delay. If you have questions on how you can keep a meaningful relationship alive while you’re going through a rocky divorce, a breakup where you’ve already been divorced and you feel like things are drifting, just call us. We can help and we can get you back on the path, so that you maintain that wonderful relationship with your kid. I know that’s super important. It’s usually the most important thing for everybody and we try to stay very child-focused here at The Drake Law Firm. So, call us and we’ll help. We’re standing by ready to take your questions.